In our interactions with Kali people, we are often reminded that who we are and how we think is largely shaped by the culture around us.
Last week I stopped at the nursery where I've been purchasing soil and plants for 7 years. This Kali family is very warm. We have periodically watched our children grow up and visited them during the fasting month. We are not close, but we have known each other for quite awhile.
I hopped out of the car and noticing that the husband wasn't there, I asked his wife, "I haven't seen you in awhile, how is your family?" With a big smile on her face (which can be the sign of embarrassment) she said, "Oh, we have terrible news... my husband left us and married another woman." Naturally I was shocked. I tried to ask a few gentle questions, but she was happy to tell the whole story.
"He's had girlfriends for 4 years now, but just last month he got married! That young girl was just looking for money.... "
Through the course of the conversation it became clear that she wasn't bothered by him fooling around. In her religion, it is just fine for a man to sleep around. A man, so says their religion, cannot control his sexual drive. One woman in not enough. It is common place and often expected that men will have multiple affairs.
The problem for this woman, what made her extremely angry, was that he married another woman. Now, he is financially responsible to care for his new wife as well! His income is now split. He does not live with his children and she is the one responsible for raising them AND finding the income to pay for their food, clothing, and schooling. She now feels forced to stay married to him so that she can keep the funds they make from the nursery. If she divorced, she would lose the income and have to go find something else. The culture told her that you should not expect your husband to be faithful sexually. Not only did she have to endure the pain of seeing this happen, but she is told to sweep it under the rug and not get angry at him!
As a man, it really bothers me that the men in this religion are allowed to act like boys. They can be irresponsible, surrender to temptation, and leave the mess to the wives and mothers. She told me very nonchalantly, "You know, for a man, one woman isn't enough." I could not just let that go. "Well, the Holy Book tells us that God created marriage to be a man and a woman together forever and if we break that vow we are cursed. I will pray that your husband's heart changes and that he comes back to you. We will pray for you and your children as well." It was clear that she did not know what the Holy Book said about marriage.
Unfortunately, this is an extremely common tale. I feel a deep sorrow for Kali women. The system has been against them for ages. The men seem to make the rules so that they can do what they want and still look religious. They don't talk about heart change. They are confused by the concept of the Spirit transforming your desires. They are just like the men Jesus called white washed tombs.
Pray for this family. Pray for hearts ready for the gospel. Pray for us to be lead by the Spirit in how to minister to this family.
Last week I stopped at the nursery where I've been purchasing soil and plants for 7 years. This Kali family is very warm. We have periodically watched our children grow up and visited them during the fasting month. We are not close, but we have known each other for quite awhile.
I hopped out of the car and noticing that the husband wasn't there, I asked his wife, "I haven't seen you in awhile, how is your family?" With a big smile on her face (which can be the sign of embarrassment) she said, "Oh, we have terrible news... my husband left us and married another woman." Naturally I was shocked. I tried to ask a few gentle questions, but she was happy to tell the whole story.
"He's had girlfriends for 4 years now, but just last month he got married! That young girl was just looking for money.... "
Through the course of the conversation it became clear that she wasn't bothered by him fooling around. In her religion, it is just fine for a man to sleep around. A man, so says their religion, cannot control his sexual drive. One woman in not enough. It is common place and often expected that men will have multiple affairs.
The problem for this woman, what made her extremely angry, was that he married another woman. Now, he is financially responsible to care for his new wife as well! His income is now split. He does not live with his children and she is the one responsible for raising them AND finding the income to pay for their food, clothing, and schooling. She now feels forced to stay married to him so that she can keep the funds they make from the nursery. If she divorced, she would lose the income and have to go find something else. The culture told her that you should not expect your husband to be faithful sexually. Not only did she have to endure the pain of seeing this happen, but she is told to sweep it under the rug and not get angry at him!
As a man, it really bothers me that the men in this religion are allowed to act like boys. They can be irresponsible, surrender to temptation, and leave the mess to the wives and mothers. She told me very nonchalantly, "You know, for a man, one woman isn't enough." I could not just let that go. "Well, the Holy Book tells us that God created marriage to be a man and a woman together forever and if we break that vow we are cursed. I will pray that your husband's heart changes and that he comes back to you. We will pray for you and your children as well." It was clear that she did not know what the Holy Book said about marriage.
Unfortunately, this is an extremely common tale. I feel a deep sorrow for Kali women. The system has been against them for ages. The men seem to make the rules so that they can do what they want and still look religious. They don't talk about heart change. They are confused by the concept of the Spirit transforming your desires. They are just like the men Jesus called white washed tombs.
Pray for this family. Pray for hearts ready for the gospel. Pray for us to be lead by the Spirit in how to minister to this family.
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