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Growing in Gratitude

As Thanksgiving was approaching, K and I started talking about our desire to help the kids really understand the concept of gratitude. We began talking a lot about it throughout the day. And as we did this we realized that it wasn't just our kids that needed to learn this lesson. We had grown so accustomed to complaining. It is easy in this life to check out from the normal inconveniences here, to pick up our phone and start looking at what's going on with our friends. Of course, this doesn't actually help. In fact, it makes things worse! Look at their beautiful table, living room, lawn, play area for their kids! Look at their beautiful weather! Trees, mountains, streams!!! Look at their vacation.... AHHHHHH! :)

So, we were deeply helped when we purchased the book Growing in Gratitude by Barbara Rainey. It wasn't the perfect devotional for our kids. We had to explain a few words and concept here and there. We had to leave out a few portions from the biographies because our kids are still too young to understand it. But "In everything give thanks" became a mantra in our home. And it was challenging.

One particular story bothered Abigail (age 7). As we read about Helen Keller we discovered that she became blind because of a doctor's error when she was still an infant. Later in life she was quoted as saying that if she could meet that doctor she would thank him! She considered the challenges of her life so valuable in her growth as a person that she thanked God for it. This, of course, took a lot of explaining, and in some ways, I suppose, it is unexplainable. "WHY did she say thanks?" Abigail proclaimed indignantly. "WHY was she thankful!?"

We tried to explain that some times the things that cause us pain in life are given to us by God to change us for good. Later in life we can see the blessings of God in the things that didn't go according to our plan. After about 5 minutes I let it go. Her little brain could not really get it and I thought it best to move on to other things.

A few weeks later, we traveled to the capitol city to go to the embassy and to take her to a pediatric dentist. We had known for months that she had a few cavities, and finally we had the time to go and get them checked out. As the day was approaching we talked her through what was going to happen, that yes, some of it would probably hurt, but it will make her teeth healthy for a long time. The day came, she did great and the dentist did a wonderful job.

That evening after we had gone to dinner we walked back to our hotel. As we walked, out of nowhere Abigail piped up, "Daddy, maybe God gave me those cavities so that I could learn to be brave!" That moment will forever be seared into my mind and my heart. As parents, we are often intentionally trying to pound in messages to our children, but never really know what is getting in. Some days it feels pointless. But that day I saw that my daughter was learning. I saw that our work was not in vain. Something had gotten through. She was beginning to learn gratitude and think about God's role in her life - even the things that are uncomfortable.

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